Eldest SB finally got to invite 5 friends over for a sleepover!!! It's just taken us a year, but we finally made it. We put rugs down in the soon-to-be decorated room, made sure that all the leads and wires were dead (fried children - not a good idea), put in mattresses and left them to it!
Everyone piled in to two cars to go and see The Golden Compass - I have to say that I enjoyed it, and especially liked Lyra and Billy. The boys finally got to bed at about 10.30 pm, and swore faithfully to brush their teeth. On checking the socks on teeth quotient the next morning, I think we got about 2/6. Is that good? One child slept in the clothes that he arrived and left in. I'm not altogether sure that he even unzipped his jacket.
Despite the sleet of the night before, we then set off after a hearty breakfast of fried eggs, black pudding, sausages and bacon, to go fishing! Nothing caught, apart from two gloves and a hat. Then a hilarious (and perilous) ride in the old Land Rover through gorse bushes and down rocky crevices. Eeeks! But the boys loved it. And so did I.
Meanwhile B came down to look after Mum, but he was already in a snipy mood when I arrived to help her to bed. I had texted to see what his estimated arrival time was but thought I should come round, since I didn't hear back. Mum, who had been so happy to see him, was in no doubt that she had done something "wrong" as he chastised her for calling him Daddy. Honestly: who cares? I am mother, sister, daughter, servant, grandmother for all I know - but it doesn't matter. The next time I saw her, she was unsettled and sitting in the dark with her trousers off, refusing to go to bed. It took nearly two hours to coax her into drinking anything or getting to bed. The carpets were dirty, the sink unwashed. B had even had 6 hours to himself since X-roads was in looking after Mum as well, so he hadn't spent that much time with her. Certainly not taken her out. Thanks for stocking up the fridge? None. And I thank him for giving me two days in a year with my son? It makes you wonder. Will I be as unloved by my sons as Mum is by hers? Or for that matter, poor old LGP is by hers?
LGP wanders around the house looking lost. She cannot make a meal for herself, can barely make a cup of tea. She eats a piece of bread for breakfast, since toasting it is beyond her, then goes out for the paper and buys bread to eat when she gets home, having forgotten the first lot. In two months.she has become a full-time watcher. Just standing and watching what you are doing, with arms folded. It is a shadowy presence in the house that is a little unnerving until you get used to it. The boys don't want to be left with her, and are relieved when she goes to bed. They even asked if they could visit Mum with me, as they haven't seen her for ages. However batty Mum is, her livelong love of children and of her own especially, communicates itself if little else does.
Tomorrow is the carol service for the school. H2 doesn't want to take his mother. He is stifled by her watching presence, her slowness and (now) dull-wittedness. It's all very sad. She was a vibrant, intelligent, elegant woman - if selfish. Now all that is left is the last vestiges of elegance and a lot of selfishness. I have held off booking Pizza Express (where we would normally feed the SBs before attending the service) because I feel we should take LGP. The trouble is, she isn't really interested in the boys at all. I would like to take Mum - the boys would like her to come and I think with the new wheelchair we could manage, but H2 will spoil for a fight if I suggest it.
No room at the Inn. Or anywhere else for that matter, if you're one of the unwashed Batty People.
I heard on the radio yesterday, that Sheila Fogarty was interviewing someone about Direct Payments. SF asked if you could spend it on anything you liked, that helped. "Even a holiday" she queried. I would have called in, except like most of us, I had 101 things to do. But I hope to have time to write. DP, I'm sure, would be a blessing to many. But it doesn't resolve the problems of someone who needs full time care and for whom the money just isn't available.
Then it starts to look like: "Not my problem."
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