Friday, September 16, 2005

Pots of gold

Two rainbows tonight. Great big, luscious arching rainbows, real as real, each with a pot of gold buried in a bale of September hay. Today the kind and endlessly patient GP signed and witnessed the confirmation of my Power of Attorney. Mum signed without the slightest hesitation - her trust is implicit, like the children. I can do no wrong. I am, and will be, her beloved daughter and her protector.

And tomorrow I have to leave for New York. Mum tries but doesn't quite understand. So I tuck her up in bed and smile back: "See you tomorrow Mum" - knowing that tomorrow will be next Sunday and it's a small lifetime for her.

The boys are full of excitement. VSB has learned a poem for next week: SB is travelling north tomorrow to play another rugby match. Big smiles. They will tell me the score when I arrive in New York. Sure? "Sure. I love you Mama." "God Bless my brother and help him score a try and God Bless all the children who don't have mummies and daddies and who don't play rugby".

My suitcase is nearly packed.

I called my stepmother last week. No answer. It's now almost a year since my father died but there will be flowers for him even though there is no grave.

Sometimes my heart is heavy.

No comments: